Welcome to Married to Hashimoto's - Married to Hashimotos
single,single-post,postid-15608,single-format-standard,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,vertical_menu_enabled,side_area_uncovered_from_content,qode-theme-ver-9.1.3,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-4.11.2,vc_responsive

Welcome to Married to Hashimoto’s

Rock and Sta

21 May Welcome to Married to Hashimoto’s

Hey ho there people,

E Ticket Ride - look it up

Are we having fun yet?

This is Rock Robbins, your host to the adventure of having a spouse with Hashimoto’s.  Some people go to Disneyland for a wild ride, my wife, Stacey, and I got the the “E-ticket” for Hashimoto’s.

Ok, why the humor?  Isn’t this site supposed to be serious / helpful?

Well, you’re going to need some humor, because it’s going to help you get through some of the rougher times when you’re likely going to need it.  I think that’s very helpful.

Hopefully you won’t have hard times – I really hope so.  But this site is here, just in case.

If you haven’t read my Hashimoto’s story yet, you can find it here.

So, why am I doing this?

I want to have this site to be a resource for husbands (and even other family members) who don’t have a clue what Hashimoto’s is, or for those who think they do, but maybe really don’t.

I plan to have all the basic, intermediate, and some advanced questions here… but mostly the basics, because that’s what I really needed back in the beginning.  I had questions, like…


What the heck is Hashimoto’s?  And can someone please explain it in an easy to digest way.

Is this something that she can just take a pill for and BOOM life goes back to normal?

Will my wife have energy, vitality, and get back up off the bed or couch again?


And that all important question…


Will we ever… ever… have sex again?

Hang tight, we will address this and more.   (And yes, there’s hope for that last part.  Whew.)

Am I really needed here?

CluelessIf we’re being honest, I really didn’t worry about any of this back in the beginning, as I was too busy with being selfish with my own life.  Yes, I was the center of my universe.

I mean, don’t get me wrong.  I love my wife, and back then I served her in many ways.  But, if you were looking for natural treatments for health issues, or in depth sympathy – that was really my wife’s department.  This was her wheelhouse, her specialty.

Now if you needed your computer looked at, a saxophone solo, something heavy lifted, or getting something off a tall shelf – that was my department. We had strict union rules about not doing each other’s jobs.

All kidding aside, I was really hoping our doctor, and my wife (who has superior insight and ninja health skills already) would have this Hashimoto’s thing figured out in a couple weeks, maybe a month tops.  I really had no idea it was going to be such a big deal.

Some 20 years later, here we are – in a MUCH better place than we were.  And the understanding and treatment of Hashimoto’s is in a much better place too (if you ask the right people), but there’s still confusion out there.  There are a lot of women (and their families) trying the ‘old’ traditional way of dealing with this from well-meaning doctors and specialists, and feeling like they’re going crazy because they’re not feeling better even though their ‘levels are in range’.

That’s why I’m doing this…


  • Family photo at Benihanas - tighterIt’s for my wife and me, so we can have the best life and health possible.


  • It’s for my kids, so they get to know their mom as healthy, playful, and whole/intact person.


  • It’s for the woman who’s close to giving up hope that she’ll ever feel better, or lose weight again.


  • It’s for the husband, who just wants things to go back to the way they used to be, but maybe needs a new vision and partnership with his wife in her health journey.


  • It’s for the family members who don’t get why this is such a problem, and maybe need a little less judgement, and a little more understanding and compassion for someone who ‘looks fine’ on the outside.


I want to shortcut you and the woman you love to the place of health, wholeness, peace, and fun again.  Now, it may not be a ‘snap your fingers and everything’s back to normal experience’, but it also doesn’t have to be a tormenting, unnecessarily long, frustrating process either.

If you’re willing to invest some time and the natural guy fixit / troubleshooting sensibility to this issue, you will not only get the appreciation of your woman, you’ll make both of your lives a better place on this health journey.

It’s important that we men use our unique strengths, assurance, and steady hand at the wheel to help our women through this time.  Whatever you bring to the mix, it’s important because – you make a difference.


OK, I’m done with the ‘You da Man!‘ pep talk.

Thanks for coming with my on this journey.  Here we go… Rock

Rock signature

  • Dan Decker
    Posted at 15:17h, 23 June Reply

    Thank you for the post. My wife has Hoshimoto and everything you described about her tough early life is spot on. I am trying to learn how to deal with some of my perceived llimitations this has such as family being able to come and stay even for a couple of days. I am also researching and trying to learn like you how i can become a more supportive husband. Thanks for the encouragment.

  • Greg Seward
    Posted at 16:56h, 29 October Reply

    OK…so what the hell do we do? We’ve tried everything….even seeking (very expensive) help from Dr. Marie Steinmetz in Virginia. It’s really reaching a critical and potentially disastrous outcome. We’re at a loss. I’m 65 and my wife is 43. We had a fantastic, well-rounded relationship until her affliction from Hashimotos. To say this sucks is an under statement. We are both well educated former intelligence officers who are well-versed in online research. I am not very receptive to the “hang in there – things will get better” mentality. I find this a limiting and self-absorbing panacea to the situation with which we find ourselves.

    I/we are at a complete loss!!!

    • Rock Robbins
      Posted at 18:25h, 11 November Reply


      Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through — I really understand; we have put thousands and thousands of dollars (before the Internet) to get to where we are today some 20+ years later. It doesn’t have to take that long. I think you’re likely very close to finding what will work for her. The medical portion is just one aspect, then there’s the relational side, and dealing with doctors who have a one size fits all view on treatment. My “hang in there message” is important because it’s easy to want to give up in the face of such a hard things physically and emotionally. If we gave up, we would not have gotten to this much better place.

      I hope this helps. If you’d like to chat more, email me at rock@marriedtohashimotos.com


  • Jared
    Posted at 18:21h, 20 December Reply

    Hi Rock
    Bought your book and its great. Just nice to know we are on the right track and other couples have gone through the same. My question is what boundries or better yet how did you set your boundries with your wife. When my wife becomes fatigued she suddenly switches into Ms Hyde (as Im sure you are familiar) and within seconds goes from a nice person to a very cruel, vindictive and non empathetic one. I would appreciate your thoughts and experience . I always say to myself this is not my wife this is hashimotos but she can be scathing.

    • Rock Robbins
      Posted at 19:53h, 21 December Reply


      Thanks for the question. How do I set my boundaries when my wife become angry / over-reactive?

      That is a tricky one. I like how you re-focused it to ‘this is Hashimoto’s talking’ type of mindset as a queue to not take her personally. For me, I did similar things — I had to personally remind myself that ‘these words aren’t true’, or ‘that’s not the whole story’ even though it’s not being said to her in this irrational state she’s in.

      That helped me remember that she was in a hurting place and lashing out. Me getting into an argument wouldn’t help resolve things and would often make things just more frustrating.

      It’s not an easy path to walk, and I certainly didn’t do it perfectly. Sometimes I got to angry at her and said things I regretted, and we had to reconcile later.

      These are the relational parts of the health process that there’s no clear guidelines on. It’s about your relationship, how you communicate, and how you understand eachother. It helped that we were committed to eachother. Not always easy, and we had times of wanting to throw in the towel on the relationships during the rough times. But I’m so glad we pushed past those.

      Keep up the great work you’re doing Jared. I hope this helps.


  • Rob Lee
    Posted at 07:08h, 13 February Reply


    Love the site, and what you have to say. I’m going through the exact things you talk about with relation to Hashi. My wife suffers from it and it has gotten progressively worse over the past year or so. She used to have all sorts of energy and would see the positive in the most negative situations. Now things are the complete opposite – every situation is scrutinized, has the most negative outcome attached to it and there are days she cannot even fathom leaving the couch. I’ve tried to get her to seek better medical help but she has had a lot of bad and/or ineffective experiences with doctors here (we live in Germany currently) so she doesn’t want to chance another one just yet. I believe there is something more to Hashi than just taking a hormone pill and “dealing with it” as so many doctors have told her. I like to think of myself as someone with never-ending patience but it is difficult at times to not get somewhat stressed out. I love my wife with everything I have and would never leave her, but I want her to feel human again.

Post A Comment